this uncomfortable feeling in me.
not love, but friends.
the sense of betrayal, but not to the point of hatred.
the feeling of not-wanted, not-needed.
something that is pulling me down.
after all that i have helped you,
you just dump me aside.
you have utterly disappointed me.
i guess i have seen wrongly of you.

slowly understanding the true meaning of friends,
step by step.


wow my blog is dead, my tagboard is dead.
oh well, anti-social girl doesn't have much friends anw. haha
have been busy with all my daily activities, and enjoying my unemployed days :D
i will probably get another job only after chris enlist :P
so you friends can grab this opportunity to ask me out!
i will squeeze everyone in :D
and yes, i have to get some time to sit down properly and do my uni application.
only managed to complete smu one today :P
went shopping today, finally trimmed my bushy eyebrows and bought a 'butterfly shirt' (that's what i call it)! happy happy girl! :D
i'm itching to shop more!
and i should pour out some hp photos here, those that are not found on facebook.


i call this 'elis' cheesy ham egg bread' :D made this for family lunch.
it's available for orders! cooked with elis' love. hahaha


'love-myself' photos in the olden working days at singtel.
and the mirror in the lift which i loved very much.


me and crazy sister playing with things at daiso


don't you think this little ocbc girl is so cute? :P


okay, elyn will kill me for this. hahaha (revenge for you deleting those unglam photos!)

mummy and elyn catching crabs, which gives me my pet crabs! and a shellfish :D





daryl is booking in at 8am today!
i'm sad ):
i'm gonna mega miss him!
life without daryl is less exciting.
lesser messages, lesser shopping, lesser movies watched, lesser problems to be shared with, lesser laughter, lesser fun.
eee, that's so much.
i don't like ns ):
it's snatching my boys away.
next, it will be chris.
i think i will probably die of lack of company from these boys.
cry my eyeballs out when chris goes in.
haha!
i violently object the idea of having boys going ns.
we should all enlist tgt, and suffer tgt.
then maybe i won't feel so sad, but whine at the torture i would suffer.
haha oh well oh well.
ahh, good bye daryl goh jing kai.


don't force me, or else i'm going to leak out everything that will do you great harm.


AM I CUTE? TEST
call, if i am cute
miss call, if i am gorgeous
Text back if i am pretty
Text a joke if i am charming
Just ignore if you are jealous

HAHAHA :D
the beauty of randomness.

People Change With time
six weeks, six months, six years dating process
six weeks : I love you, I love you, I love you.
six months : Of course I love you.
six years : GOD, if I did not love you, then why the hell did I propose?

tsk, guys.


i'm feeling down again.
i feel alone.
this time round, it must be due to my parents.
we're so busy with our own working schedule that we don't have much time tgt.
my sister too, is so busy with her bowling. all different tournaments in one month.
i'm glad i'm ending this work tmr, so that i can stay at home when my mummy's on leave next week and accompany my sister to occ for nag.
father can't go ntu and nus open house with me this sat ):
i need him to help me decide on stuff and open his mouth to ask those ppl there about my horrid results.
i'm neglected.
ahh i feel so spoilt. but i need my papa!
boo ):


listen to me whineeee :D
i'm having this gigantic headache now.
it must be due to 4am bedtime last night.
i could even hear my aunty's alarm at 5am, when she prepares to wake up for work.
my brain had a shock and sent signals to me, 'omg you better grab sleep now, or you'll only have one hour of sleep!'
facing this computer screen from 845am to 6pm might be part of the cause too.
i'm left with four more times of blogging in office, before i'm unemployed :D excited!
i expected mountains of work for me to do before i leave this place, but no.
i'm rotting again.
i better plan what to do tmr, i will apply my smu tmr here! hahaha
and i love beginning each sentence with I.
i felt like a superstar this morning upon stepping into the office.
crowds of kpo colleagues exclaimed, 'here she comes!' and rushed to me and asked for my results.
there i go, showing them my sad face about how i'm not able to get into my business.
i expected some consoling, but one of them said, 'nvm la, i give you links to private uni.' how comforting. hello, i still want to get into local uni.
i have such good patience and tolerance that i smsed my mother immediately about what horrible colleagues i have.

oh yes, about the matter below.
i have lots of trust in you, and feel uber secure than ever :D
it's always better to make things clear rather hiding it to myself and keep having wild guesses.
no more strong hatred, but probably still abit of dislike there.

SMU INFORMATION SYSTEMS, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!


i still love you, my boy.
right from the start, only you.

i suspect this is a plan, a cunning motive.


oh man, i really do miss you hell lots.
months since i last saw you.
you have put in a little excitement amongst the nervousness about going to school tmr
:D


i declare that i'm seriously suffering from mood swings.
i'm feeling all hyped-up now! :D
working is making me blog more and more often, to kill my boredom.
but isn't this good for my readers? though i know there are only pathetic few.
my supervisor has gone crazy. he has been talking to himself, yelling how stressed-up he is, about infinite work to do. maybe i should stop bloghopping and finish my monthly report thing quick, so that i can share his burden.
i've no idea why but i love looking at pretty girls' photos and blogs :D
hahaha, can totally imagine chris' reaction if i tell him that,
eg. 'i knew you were never straight!' and gives that serious expression.
HAHAHA(:
time to go home to change and head out!


welcome to elis' emotional period of the month.
i believe this is caused by some hormones activity called 'post-menstrual-syndrome',
or maybe it's becos of the upcoming results.
i've been flooding my ears with chinese love songs.
the more i hear them, the sadder i feel, letting myself sink into this moody mode.
i'm sorry that i've been too tired to pick up late night phone calls.
i will call you ppl back once friday is over yea.

and i don't give any shit about popularity. you can compare all you want.
i beg you not to irritate me anymore.

this is the point of time where i need you most,
but it's always the time where you will disappear.

i miss the feeling of being in love.


i can't hold it in anymore.
I'M PANICKINGGGGGGGGGG!
PANICKING REAL BADLY.
I'M SO DAMN NERVOUS ABOUT FRIDAY APPROACHING.
SO NERVOUS THAT I CAN FEEL THE BUTTERFLIES HITTING MY STOMACH WALLS,
SO MANY BUTTERFLIES THAT I FEEL LIKE SHITTING ALL DAY LONG.
I'M REALLY REALLY VERY SCAREDDDDDDDDDDD! :S
I'VE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE U AND S AND E AND D I SAW ON THAT HORRIBLE SLIP IN MY DREAMS.
AHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!
I WANT TO GET INTO UNI QUICK AND MAKE MORE NEW FRIENDS!
I DON'T WANNA RETAKEEEEEE ):
i've never felt so worried about results. all i had to worry about during o'levels was whether i can get below 20points. where's that kind of feeling and advantage! ):
I'M SCAREDDDDDDDDDDDDD! :S
I WANT A HUG.

and i still don't like you. bleahhh