a hectic tiring complicated week which made me scream and cry.
attempts of crossing the road without looking out for cars,
wishing that one car could just hit me down
and i'll never wake up.
financial problems, family, studies, bowling, relationships
whatever problems you can think of, i have it.
i may appear strong but i'm actually not.
those fake smiles that hide my inner self
now i admit them all.
i can't take it anymore.
i have no idea where is the happy-go-lucky elis
i think i have lost her
or maybe even i have changed.
the past elis does not have a single thought of suicide.
i miss my life before march ): so so much
the times where i had so much fun with no worries
i can't forget all the crazy things we used to do.
will my life be better?
at least after promos?
i can't concentrate on studies now
i know i have to, but i really can't ):

sense of emptiness;
living aimlessly

don't be surpised if i'm not in this world on one fine day